Dreams of JAX

My friend SCL tells me not to think about it. Not to ruin my weekend because of it. He understands that feeling bad because he is going away this weekend, and I'm not, is justifiable, but in the end will only serve to bring me down. Well yeah, of course it's going to bring me down. And while he's spending time in Jacksonville with his boyfriend, I am, well, sitting in Orlando twiddling my thumbs. We are both suppose to be moving to Jacksonville in January, I have come to love the city as much as he does, but because he has a boyfriend up there and I don't, well I'm stuck here because I didn't want to feel like the "third wheel" during the weekend he wants to just spend some "alone" time with his boyfriend. But the thing is, he's going out with friends tonight because his boyfriend is working, a couple of which have started to become my friends too in the past couple of months. He'll probably be partying with them tomorrow as well, because one of them is leaving. Hell, SCL and his boyfriend probably won't get alone time until Sunday. These are things I want to do as well, but instead I stay home, prepare myself for the move, and dream of JAX. So if I pine for the fun he's having, I pine. Tells me not to think about it, I'm preparing myself for a move to a place he's having fun in while I'm, well, not having fun, and I'm not suppose to think about it?!?! Wish I could say I feel happy for him, but in honesty, I'm still a little jealous, and always will be I suppose. SCL's had nine months, I've only had a couple visits true, but Jacksonville is now my dream as well, but until I find someone as well, I'll always be that "third wheel" just hanging along for the ride. And well, it sucks!