Greer Needs. . .

Okay this is a highly amusing and weird meme that I picked up on from yaniboy. When you actually follow the rules and look through the hits, it's weird to see some of the "needs" especially since my nickname shares itself with a highly despised judge in Florida. You be the judge.

I actually like the last three. LOL

This is how the meme works. You type your name and the word "needs" into google to find what you need. It works best if you put the whole thing in quotes.

And my list includes:

1. Greer needs to start looking for a new career.
   
2. Greer needs is for anyone with a brain to run the other way when he approaches with his spiel.
   
3. Greer needs a serious wake-up call.
   
4. Greer needs to update his presentation.
   
5. Greer needs to be impeached for murder.
   
6. Greer "needs armed bodyguards" for protection.
   
7. Greer needs to think again.
   
8. Greer needs to be made available to others.
   
9. Greer needs to be a great place to live, work and play.
   
10. Greer needs to be a bedroom community.

En Autumnum

Wilma has come and gone. Here in Central Florida we received merely wind and rain, nothing major. However, Wilma brought with her a welcome and pleasant surprise, Autumn has finally arrived in Central Florida. Autumn is my favorite time of year, mild days, crisp chilly evenings with a lovely breeze. I love to just stand outside and smell the cool air, smiling all the while. Though in Florida, Autumn comes late, last only a few weeks and then fades into a balmy winter. Florida really has but one season, HOT. The few times of year, like now, when it get's cold enough for a light sweater and hot chocolate, I treasure. I just wish it would last longer, and it's times like this I wish I were further north, where the real seasons lie, watching the leaves turn and fall, and pumpkins dot the landscape. One day that will be true, but now, I treasure my Autumn day until the weekend when we warm up again.

Retro

This week's Photo Friday challenge, Retro.

Midnight Rendezvous

I am not one for one-night stands or just hooking-up. However, every once in awhile my hormones get the best of me and I end up thinking with the other head. Last night ended up being one of those nights. Sitting alone in the dark, whiling away the hours in a chatroom, I find myself talking with an individual that peaked my interest, in more ways than one. Before long I'm talking to him on the phone, then 'lo and behold I find myself at his door. Needless to say we all know what happened after that, twice! But we also talked, for awhile, I ended up spending nearly two hours with this guy last night. I found him attractive, both inside and out. I told myself I would know what I want when I found it. This guy is what I want. Unfortunately, as with everything in my life, there's a catch. He has a boyfriend, a boyfriend he hasn't seen in months due to travel schedules, but a boyfriend nonetheless. As is my luck, the good ones are either straight, or taken. And truthfully I never could wrap my though processes around the concept of an "open relationship." Now, though, I find myself in a quandry. The possibility is there of meeting again, repeating the events of last night (or rather early this morning). I don't know if I want to open that door, invest energy in something that I could regret at a later date. Should I persue a friendship, with benefits, or should I just walk away, leave it be. I still haven't learned I suppose to just treat sex as sex, to me it's always something more. In the end, I guess that's my biggest problem, and why I infrequently get laid to begin with. Ugh!

Divergence

Physically I'm here, mentally I'm somewhere else. My life seems to follow divergent paths, where I am, and where I want to be. I begin to wonder where the divergence occurred, when did my two selves separate. I am not where I envisioned myself 5 or even 10 years ago. So many life changes, so many decisions made and lost. So many dreams and aspirations, gone. Is the real me actually out there? Having the life I've wanted for so long? Sometimes I feel like a shadow, looking in from the outside, never really a part even of my own life. Currently I am attempting to bring things into focus, to create a convergence, but things seem to be taking their sweet time. Life moves at a snail's pace. Lately it just feels like I'm disjointed. I'm neither depressed nor happy, I just am. Day to day living has become routine, a rut that sometimes I feel has become too deep to escape from. Six feet under, with nowhere to go. I know though that the dirge has yet to be written. Change is on the wind, I just wish the wind would pick up a little, it's getting a little stuffy down here.

Drunken Antics

My weekends have never been the same since I met SCL. He's become an important part of my life. Better than a boyfriend, he's my BEST friend. And I couldn't ask for any better than him. Again this weeekend, we hung out, drank, and just had loads of fun. Sometimes our weekends are filled with, for lack of a better term, "drunken antics." This weekend was no different. Friday night we started out after work with our usual fare, drinks and dinner. We puttered around online for a bit, then decided to go out. We made it as far as the corner store before turning back. He was in no condition to drive, and, well, I can't drive a stick. So on the way back to his place we ran over a tree. Well more like a bush. . .more specifically a Crape Myrtle. Since his top was down, I got brunt of the tree across my front. Needless to say we spent the rest of the weekend cleaning out tree parts from the car. We still laugh and shake our heads when we pass by the tiny stump that was left. Well we behave ourselves more in the future? . . .in moderation, in moderation. LOL

Conspicuous

I always like to try something different. I found out about Photo Friday through one of the blogs I regularly read. This week's challenge was "Conspicuous" and I believe this lovely yellow cactus flower is definitely noticable amongst the ochre tones of Petrified Forest National Park. So did I meet the challenge?

Coming Out

Today is National Coming Out Day. This year's theme is "Talk About It." So in celebration I decided that I would share my coming out story. I know I touched on it some back in when I was talking about looking for my Prince Charming, but I feel I didn't do it much justice. I was a sophmore in college, almost 12 years ago now, and I had just started working as a Peer Writing Consultant. We were required to keep journals of kind in order to help focus our writing, and I had come upon two enteries from a previous consultant who had worked in the writing center a few years before. I had always, I guess, known that I was different. I had girlfriends in high school, but in the end they just ended up being girls who were friends, I never really felt attracted to them. In college, my attraction toward men became more in focus, and then I found myself reading V's own coming out story. Sitting there on the couch, suddenly all the feelings that I had kept bottled up started coming to the surface. I was seeing myself through the eyes of another, another person who felt the same things I was feeling and had gone through the same emotions. I admitted then, for the first time, I was gay. I broke down, crying on the couch, while everything washed over me. I don't remember much more about that day, but I remember that in the next couple of weeks I started coming out to friends at school. The funny thing, most of them already knew, they were just waiting for me to "know." Well 12 years later, it is still a struggle. Some people are freed upon coming out, I was freed, yet still burdened. I live openly, but often feel that I have been discriminated against because of it. People would never admit it out loud, but I know it's there. And that is why coming out is so important. The more people the come out, the more society sees that we are human, we are just like them in many ways, we just love differently. That love is not wrong, but should be cherished as all love is cherished. Sometimes it's difficult, but in the end, change is always for the better, even if we don't see it at the time. If you only come out to one person, in the end, coming out to the one person, makes the burden easier, and coming out as a whole so much easier to bear.

Swearing Off Men

Yes, I'm swearing off men. Sounds easier than it looks though. Unlike bisexuals, I am 100% gay, I have no fall back position when it comes to sex besides the right hand. Seriously, the thought of sex with women (shudders), I came out of one of those at birth and I ain't going back in! So even though bisexuals have their choice between men and women, personally I think they're just plain greedy, I love men and it is men for which I am swearing off. Men, for all intent and purposes, are pigs. There never is a good man around when you need one. And when one does show up, they are either straight, in a relationship, or in the end, a jerk. I shall henceforth (or at least for the next couple months, until after I move) become celibate. Of course I'm going to need the constitution of a saint to pull this one off. Which then gets me to thinking saint = Catholic = priest = sexually repressed = ah hell, I'm screwed. I know my limbido will get the best of me in the end. After all, I am only human. But at least I can try and put in a good show and attempt to swear off men.